If He Was Here Today, It's His 30th Birthday! :')

As I promised before, in June 4th, I'll explain about this photo

It's me and my brother in our father's overall, pretending that we're a kangaroo.

Hari ini tanggal 4 Juni 2012, hari ulang tahun kakak laki-laki saya di foto. Di hari ini seharusnya dia genap berusia 30 Tahun. But you now what? He didn't make it. Ulang tahunnya berhenti di tahun 2007. Dia tidak pernah sampai ke ulang tahunnya yang ke 25. He didn't make it. 

He's a good brother, you know. Kind of brother who says "you mess with my sister and I'll break your leg!" Once I was home with a bruise in my cheek. My friend kicked the basket ball to the wall and it bounced back and hit my face. He asked me who did it to me. I explained that it was an accident, that the boy who did it didn't mean it. He just said okay. But tomorrow, in the same gymnasium where I usually play basketball with my friends, he suddenly comes up. Asked me which boy who kick the basket ball yesterday. I told him that it's not necessary for him to know. I remember what he said: "I just wanna tell this boy, that basketball is to throw not to kick. Once I know that he did it again to you, I swear he will pay it." Yeah, he was that kind of brother. :')

Seingat saya dia pribadi yang kreatif, tapi pembosan. Seandainya di masa dia remaja grafiti sudah hype, mungkin dia biasa bikin grafiti yang bagus sekali. Dia juga selalu kreatif dalam memasak. Dia tidak pernah membuat mi instan sesuai instruksi standar, dia selalu punya cara untuk memodifikasi mi instan dan hasilnya enak. Biasanya sebelum masak mi instan dia akan bertanya dulu, "dila, mauko juga?" kalau saya mau, dia akan masak buat saya juga.

I missed him sometimes. My mother still cried on him sometimes. My father still cried in silent while he read Al-Quran. It's not because we didn't let him go. Not because we haven't let him go. It just so sad that we, somehow, almost forgot how is it feels when he was here.

If he were here today, saya mungkin sedang bersama keluarga saya, makan kue ulang tahunnya atau sekedar memberi ucapan selamat. The first or the second birthday after he's gone, we bought a birthday cake in his birthday, cut it, and ate it together. Wishing him a better place somewhere. We didn't do it today. Maybe because we've been let him go. Peacefully. :)